What The Fuck, "Nice Guys"?

emilyclocke asked: This blog makes my vagina clench shut. So many creepy men out there it's legitimately scary.

Same. Just running it is practically a kegels workout.

Anonymous asked: It absolutely has to do with the insecurity and jealous nature of crazy boyfriends. My ex husband constantly told me that no man wanted anything to do with me other than have sex with me. It was outside his grasp that I could be an interesting and loveable person outside of sex to anyone and he wondered why I didn't think he appreciated me for ME. Nice Guys get divorced, too. He also had the audacity to tell me I'd never find somebody who treated me as well as he did. Surprise. I found better.

I’m glad you found better. :)

Anonymous asked: Confession time: When I was a young kid (like 14 or so) My girlfriend broke up with me, and I made it a habit of asking her to go back out with me every day. Even though I knew she'd say no, I had to cuz I felt like we belonged together. I look back on it now and realize how awful it was. A lot of nice Guys Will NOT take no for an answer. She was nice enough to stay friends with me and I apologized when I matured, But some guys won't listen no matter what you say to them.

Anonymous asked: So as I was walking into the kitchen, I was thinking about "Nice Guys" and the friendzone when a thought smacked me upside the head. Do you think that this friendzone phenomena contributes to the jealousy and insecurity that arises when (straight) couples make friends of the opposite gender?

Maybe, though it may be related to the idea that men are always (and only) wanting to get laid. I think it all stems from the idea of men being owed something by women. 

Anonymous asked: As a girl who has had to reject Nice Guys, first gently, then bluntly, then with a freaking sledgehammer, there is *nothing* you can say that they will consider a "legitimate" reason for rejecting them. Their self-absorption is so complete that they cannot comprehend any needs or desires outside of their own. So it doesn't matter. *Nothing* gets through. I was only able to put an end to the sexual harassment by cutting off contact with the last one entirely.

youhavenoswagger asked: The problem with these guys are that they don't know how to take no as an answer.. I've lost a lot of male friends with the "nice guy" thing going on. And believe me, I warned them BEFOREHAND that if they're in it to somehow have a relationship with me then don't even bother.. I even officially tell them when they're in this "friend-zone".. but they still act surprised when i don't want their dick inside me or want to be with them and i just don't understand why this keeps happening.

Anonymous asked: It's not a problem if you complain about nice guys' whining. However, having written PAGES AND PAGES about this, you are just a bit whiny yourself. Most nice guys don't think that they're owed anything; it's the idea that being nice is supposed to work and it doesn't, so they get confused. If you can't even handle nice guys, then you're saying that you are ridiculously insecure. You're saying that their inability to find someone is justified, which is judgmental.

Hey, I write when it’s sent to me, or it pops up on my dash. Believe it or not, I don’t spend hours every day scouring the internet for every last Nice Guy™ post to whine about. Besides, what’s the point of running a blog if you never update it? 
And if it was just confusion, that would be different. What ends up happening is a dudebro is confused because their “niceness” didn’t work, and instead of being corrected, the Nice Guys™ (irl and on the internet) pat them on the back and tell them “girls only like jerks” or “you’re in the friend-zone, I feel so bad for you” etc. The reinforcement convinces them that they are OWED something from the girl they like, and then they become Nice Guys™.  Which is why I (among other people) call them out on how sexist that is.

And I’m a little confused about your last two statements. “If you can’t even handle nice guys, then you’re saying that you are ridiculously insecure.” What do you mean by “handle”? Am I supposed to date them? Reassure them that they’re right? Ignore their complaining about that “bitch” that put them in the friend-zone? Trust me, I’m not the only one annoyed by Nice Guys™. 
”You’re saying that their inability to find someone is justified, which is judgmental.” No, I’m saying that their reasoning “I’m nice and she won’t date me, therefore she won’t date me because I am nice.” is flawed. Also, pretending to be someone’s friend for the sake of trying to get into their pants is misleading and not at all nice. I don’t think I’m being judgmental by saying that. 

Anonymous asked: I met this girl in this EOPS computer room. She's probably my age range and she seems really nice. We've only exchanged words once, haven't seen her since but I will again. Teach me how to be nice AND interesting to someone I don't know well, please!

I’m not the best at not being awkward, haha. I’d just say, start a conversation. Too many compliments can feel awkward, whereas starting a conversation is a good way to get to know her. Plus, if you’re approaching her out of the blue, she’ll probably pick up on the fact that you’re interested. But if you want to go out with her, get to know her a little, then ask her out! Don’t wait for her to do it. Also, if you do try to strike up a conversation, and she’s not into it, back off. It may not be you, she just may not want to talk, and that’s fine. Hope that helps!

Anonymous asked: Or a lot of these "Nice Guys" don't even make their intentions known. They just try to work their way in as if the "natural" order of things is to become somebody's friend and then have them fall for you and then they become upset when the "natural" order of things doesn't go their way. I had a "Nice Guy" get upset about being "friend zoned" and complain about it to one of my friends (who subsequently told me about "Nice Guy's" plans to get me drunk and rape me) AFTER I was married.

Ew, that’s disgusting! I’m so sorry. :(

Anonymous asked: has anyone ever thought that a lot of these 'nice guys' may be feeling lead on because girls are constantly told to be nice to people (to the extent that many feel GUILTY calling out street harassers, etc)? so far, in my experience (not saying it's true), it is far harder for a girl to be nasty to a creepy dude than for a guy to be (friends asking what to do if a creepy guy has invited himself to a party, etc). any thoughts?

Yeah I think that’s a big part of the problem. The fear of a negative reaction + social conditioning to be sweet = a lot of women trying to “let them down nicely”, even if they don’t deserve it. 

thegodamill:

postmoderndepression:

thegodamill:

Women who complain about stereotypical nice guys are just as bad as the guy who call themselves nice guys

Yes, people who point out a problem are just as bad as the problem itsself. Genius logic there.

What is the problem though? Awkward dudes being bitter? Is that a major issue? I’m curious don’t flame me.

The problem is Nice Guys™ not seeing women as people and thinking that these women “owe” them a relationship or sex, because the guy was just so nice. It’s all about male entitlement. 

Anonymous asked: Once I was at a convention and this guy told me I should go to the Saturday night dance with his friend because it's his birthday and I said I'm not a party favor and the guy got all pissed and said that wasn't fair to his friend and what.

fallingupbackwards asked: Maybe women lie about why they reject guys because, surprise, rejecting them for any legitimate reason causes Nice Guys to have an absolute fit? How about because we consider said guys friends we don't want to hurt their feelings by bringing up their appearance, which has nothing to do w/why we're friends with them? Further, why can't women reject someone based solely on their appearance? Oh right, we're just so lucky to have someone be nice to us that we should overlook incompatibilities!

moshpit-panda:

That is a very interesting way of putting it

Fixed it.
(also, she still has the right to say no. You aren’t entitled to her attention.)

Anonymous asked: When I was in high school, a "nice guy" kept asking me to prom.. I had just suffered the death of two family members and a close friend so I wasn't feeling like celebrating anything so I turn him down and explained why. I received pages and pages of messages telling me how bad of a person I am for denying him despite his consistency. It's like the events in my life didn't matter. Years later I get a message from him saying "I forgive you for the prom incident :)" Really?? REALLY?!