(submitted by my good friend rickybrugal, thanks buddy!)
“One pet peeve of mine is the idea that this act of supposed “friendzoning” is a vicious, malicious thing, when most of the time women are just oblivious because these dudes don’t just straight up state their interest, and instead manipulate and whine on some total creepy misogynistic bullshit.
Here’s the thing though. It’s not a malicious, intentional thing…and if it IS, you shouldn’t want ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT PERSON ANYWAY.
I remember a loooong time ago, there was a beautiful girl I had a HUGE crush on who would flirt with me constantly. We were part of a residential college prep program together, and I’d developed quite the crush on her. A lot of folks thought she was leading me on so that I would help her with homework and shit, but I brushed it off mostly cause it was an unfair accusation, and also because I was making the DECISION to help her with homework stuff, and any romantic feelings I had were separate. And if they weren’t separate, then either way I’d made the choice to help her out, and I had no sense of entitlement or expectation that I’d be “rewarded” for just being someone’s friend, for fuck’s sake. Because that’s ridiculous.
Anyway, one night, I was on my way to her room for a study session we had planned, and she didn’t realize that she’d left her door cracked open. A small group of friends and I literally heard her talking to her friend on the phone, loudly because she apparently had poor reception, about how she was “straight up using [insert my name here]” to pass the class, and how she “wouldn’t be friends with someone like [insert my name here] outside of the program”, and etc.
So, my reaction there wasn’t “OMG WTF I’M SUCH A NICE GUY U USED ME U ONLY LIKE JERKS FUCK BITCHES WOMEN ARE SUCH SLUTS THEY SO MEAN”. No, my reaction was “what the fuck, who DOES this? ” and “she must be a goddamn maniac crazyperson psycho for being able to actively and intentionally use people and think it’s funny”. That shit had nothing to do with being a good looking woman with a dorky friend in the “friendzone”; that shit was just a straight up mean person doing what I considered a mean thing. So I didn’t feel owed anything, and I sure as fuck didn’t want sex or a relationship when I found out I’d been “friendzoned” in a malicious way. What I DID want was to get the fuck away from this person because I no longer had any interest in being friends of any sort with her.
That was a long, roundabout way of getting to my real point, which is that friendzoning is not a malicious or intentional thing, and on the rare occasion that maybe it is, you should just get the fuck away from the situation because WHY WOULD YOU WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE WHO WAS INTENTIONALLY HURTFUL TO YOU, WHY DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH OR FEEL OWED ROMANCE FROM SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT FUCKING WANT YOU, AND WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOMETHING SOLELY WOMEN DO FOR FUCK’S SAKE?