What The Fuck, "Nice Guys"?

Oh look, it’s a Nice Gal™.
On a few points, I do feel a little bad for her. Fooling around and telling her that she loves her? That wasn’t cool. However, this girl who wrote the post (let’s call her Red) is seriously going overboard, and expected too much.
First off, the girl told Red that she “wasn’t the slightest of gay” and never made it official that they were a couple. Red even admits that they were “never technically girlfriends” through all of this. Also, Red seems to think that she’s owed something because she spent so much on this girl. Hate to break it to you Red, you could have given her a solid gold mansion and a Bengal tiger and she STILL wouldn’t owe you a relationship. 
Further on in the post, the girl makes it clear to Red that they weren’t a couple. She even told Red about the people she was dating. This isn’t something a girlfriend would do. This girl clearly saw Red as a good friend, and then Red stopped talking to her.
Now, let’s look at the cards. The options are “I will love you more than anyone ever will.” and “Karma will see you soon.” Wow. While both are bad ideas, the first one conveys desperation, while the second one is a little threatening. As far as “I don’t know if I should continue to be nice”, I just have to say, Red, nobody is making you be nice. But going out of your way to be a dick isn’t cool, and will probably have huge repercussions. As far as “making her feel bad for what she did”, why not just tell her how you feel? I doubt she’s a robot, she probably just doesn’t realize that she hurt your feelings. 

Point is, Red, you are an entitled Nice Gal™, no doubt about it. 

vitreoushumour:

gayandroids:

feministpixie:

It’s real and it’s hilarious

“I also call it suitor abuse, in that such a woman tends to manipulate men for fun and profit by encouraging them to pursue her, then pretend she hadn’t a clue they were interested in her and shoo them away. It’s setting people up for failure, creating strong motivations and dismantling them for a perverse sense of power. Women who do this are monsters, plain and simple, and deserve to be treated accordingly. They know very well what they’re doing, and only shout the “you’re only nice to get sex” tirades to create a smokescreen while inflicting further abuse. What they don’t count on is that the men’s movement will eventually be able to, and indeed must eventually, ensure that either laws or community standards (or both) are enforced against them.”

wha?

Oh fuck no.
Look, Nice Guys™ of the world, there is something huge I need to tell you. Something mind-blowing, something out there, something a little hard to understand. Okay, here goes.
Women are people.
Hard to believe, I know, but it’s true. We women are capable of complex relationships where we have friends, lovers, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, acquaintances, drinking buddies, co-workers, rivals, bosses, employees, fuck-buddies, pen-pals, etc, just like men! We don’t exist for the sole purpose of fulfilling your romantic desires! Plus, we also get to choose who we have relationships with, as well as what type of relationship (if any)! It is not abuse to not want to fuck someone, even if you “lead them on” by being nice to them. (Look, Nice Guys™, tell me if I need to slow down. I know this is all very new and confusing for you.)

Fortunately, for Nice Guys™ and dudebros who did not get a chance to read this reply, some other redditors chimed in:

Look out, we’ve got a philosopher Nice Guy™ on OkC. 
(thanks thecolournerd!)

Wow, there’s so much wrong with this. I should rewrite it.

Dear Ladies, 

There’s a secret to finding Nice Guys™ (though I’m not sure why you would even want to). It’s the Special Snowflakes. The ones who not only enjoy cute things like movie nights and walks in the park, but who also thing they’re ultra special and different for liking these things. The ones who think that only shy and introverted guys could ever like these things, because obviously every other guy (who we will call Confident Guys) must be raging douchebags who only do things frat parties and using women for sex and other douchebag things like that. Also, if you do date us Nice Guys™, we’ll use you to validate our existence and demand that you inflate our ego.  Also. to make another sweeping generalization, we’re all apparently great in bed. We’re not going to talk about how I know this, just accept it. 

Sincerely, the Special Snowflake Nice Guy™ who clearly has some growing up to do.

“The Young Turks: Abstinence Pledge Was A Bad Idea”
(it’s long, but it’s interesting!)

So in this video, The Young Turks debate an article, written from the point of view of a woman who took an “abstinence pledge” until marriage, and ended up really regretting it. She felt like she was sexually repressed and the pledge ruined her marriage.

Now, Ana Kasparian in this video clearly gets the point of the article. She explains that the woman felt like there was something wrong with her, that she wasn’t capable of enjoying sex, that she rushed into marriage, etc. However, Cenk Uygur COMPLETELY makes it a “but what about teh Nice Guys™?!” moment and starts complaining that the writer was “throwing her husband under the bus” and “trying to get out of sex after making him wait for it” and implies that she OWED him sex. His use of the term “give it away” is equally disgusting.

Later in the article it mentions that she (the author) had a string of one-night stands while discovering her sexuality. Cenk goes on to criticize this, saying ” ‘that guy that was really nice to me, that listened to me, that I wouldn’t have sex with for three fuckin’ years, haha, I hated having sex with him! but after I got out the marriage, BOOM, I’m open for business!’ That’s why I feel bad for the guy.” 
Anna even called him out on it, saying “I think that’s really weird that you got that. He wasn’t a moron who couldn’t make decisions for himself. He was in a relationship, she said ‘hey I’m not going to have sex until I’m married’ and he decided to stay with her. Instead of making her seem like a horrible bitch, say it’s a bad idea to wait for sex until marriage.” 

Even the one of the other dudes on the panel say that Cenk is wrong. However, the other guy, while saying that she (the author) wasn’t in the right, said that it wasn’t so much her being unfair to her husband but more that she was guilty of rushing into a commitment before she gave herself enough experience, both in relationships and sex. 

Ana at the end even says “This is not me being a feminazi, this is me giving someone credit for someone talking about the most personal and intimate details of her sex life. … She says she felt like she was broken, she’s in a tough situation.”
Which Cenk follows with “Well I just don’t feel like anyone ever sticks up for this guy.”

While it seemed like Ana won the debate, the commenters seem to disagree.




Gee, they all seem so nice. 

thekawaiiestvorlon:

genderbutt:

stfusexists:

stfuhatemongers:

Is being friends with a woman really that awful?

If men REALLY took rejection this well, women wouldn’t have to hesitate to be blunt. But I’ve ignored enough cat callers to know that often isn’t the case. And it just isn’t worth it to me to suss out which type of reaction any given dude is gonna have at my own risk.

Ummmm guys, if you’re “friend-zoned” doesn’t that mean you realize that she’s not into you??? And wants to be your friend??? At that point if you waste time trying to seduce her it’s your own damn fault for being a douche who can’t take no for an answer (an implied no is still a no).

Alright ladies, listen up, because this is important.

When a man is interested in you romantically, he is not interested in you as a friend. He is interested in you romantically. They are two very different kinds of relationship. Men are conditioned (either by evolution or by cultural norms) to pursue that which they desire. If he desires you, he’s not going to stop desiring you if he’s still in constant contact with you. That will just make him more and more frustrated that he is not engaging you on a romantic level. It is not good for his mental health. Don’t try and make this about you and your hurt feelings that he doesn’t want to be your friend, because that is small potatoes to his biological frustration.

While some men don’t take rejection well, neither do some women. But it’s better for everyone because even if the guy or girl makes an ass of themselves, it is clearly communicated that nothing is going to be happening on the romantic level, and he or she can move on with their lives and look elsewhere. Wanting to be just friends with someone who is romantically interested in you is just dangling before them the small, false hope of a possible future relationship. You are wasting not just their time, but your own.

Two key points:

1) No man is entitled to your body, ladies.

2) You are not entitled to a man’s friendship.

Deal with it.

You know when someone starts out with “Listen up, ladies” it’s going to be bad.

Thing is, if what he was saying were true (which is most certainly is not), things would be a lot easier. Nice Guys™ would just ask a girl that they liked out on a date, instead of pretending to be their friend just to get into their pants. But that’s not the way it works. As the people before me mentioned, a lot of guys do NOT handle rejection this well! There’s another statement I don’t like either:
” Wanting to be just friends with someone who is romantically interested in you is just dangling before them the small, false hope of a possible future relationship.”
This bothers me a lot. So if a guy asks a girl out, and she says no, she’s supposed to cut off all contact with him? How is that fair to the guy? I mean, that would feel awful, asking someone out and not only being turned down, but being completely ignored? Really bro, think about what you’re suggesting.

Also, I don’t know of any woman who feels entitled to a friendship with a man. However, if I were friends with someone and they suddenly stopped being my friend once they found out we weren’t ever going to bone, yes, my feelings would be hurt. It’s not a matter of entitlement, it’s a matter of feeling used, and having your trust violated. 

Don’t you agree,
Other guys aren’t as Nice as me! 
Unimpressive and shy,
Chicks don’t appreciate that I’m a Nice Guy!
Hell, she’ll probably date
Every guy that I hate.
Bitch, I treat you with respect!
All you do is friend-zone me; why aren’t we fucking yet?
Gosh, if only you could see me for what I really am…

alexandraerin:

moniquill:

sxizzor:

sendificator:

abaldwin360:

mssswitch:

brainstatic:

He is trying to explain that not getting laid (incel means involuntary celibate) is a violation of his civil rights and a grossly overlooked injustice.  He is completely serious. This is his blog.

what a fucking creepy fucker

Oh my fucking GOD. What an entitled little douche.

“BEING WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP AND SEX AGAINST YOUR WILL FOR OVER 6 MONTHS” cry me a river

what is that civil rights analogy even

Dear guys who don’t understand why women are often cagey around you:

These men walk among you and are indistinguishable from you until it’s too late.

From his About Me: “I want to share the idea that governments have to help people get partners.”

Suddenly, in a totally unrelated coincident, I have a brilliant and terrifying idea for a new dystopian fiction setting.

 

OH MY GOD. I cannot with Nice Guys™ like this. FUCK.

I’ll try to contain my rage with a nice list of why he is SO fucking wrong. Ahem.

• Women are often single too, even when they don’t want to be. Nobody is entitled to a relationship with anyone. Period.
• Comparing women to restaurants is disgusting and objectifying. Stop.
• Comparing the civil rights movement to you not getting laid is also disgusting. Stop that too.
• You may not like being single, but that is not, in any way shape or form, oppression. 
• You are probably single “against your will” because you view women as restaurants that have an obligation to service you. 
• If we really wanted to help people who felt depressed because they were single, a big step would be teaching them that they don’t need a relationship to be validated and happy, NOT trying to match people up with tax money (honestly, I read it twice, and I still don’t know exactly what it is that you’re proposing). 
• You clearly have a warped view of women, the civil rights movement, and oppression and you are awful. STAHP.

As was mentioned before, things like this are a big reason women have trouble trusting men. The predators, the Nice Guys™, the creeps, the guys who feel entitled to women, they’re all out there, masquerading as decent dudes. 

Right, because it would only be worth saving her if she wanted to hook up with him. This would almost be funny if I wasn’t aware of how many guys really think like this.

Ugh, WHY must these men assume that any guy in a platonic relationship with a woman must be trying to get into her pants? Do they not see how awful that is to say to someone? It’s insulting to both people, and it’s just not true. That’s the problem with Nice Guys™, they’re never that nice.

(TW Sexism)

So, if you don’t feel like reading the article (I don’t blame you), this is basically a guide to tearing down womens’ self-esteem so they want to date/sleep with you. This approach is called “negging” which is just another abusive behavior that’s been glamorized. 
”To her guy friends, “So what’s special about this one.””
”“You know, your body language is all closed off. It makes you look like one of those newborns I saw on the discovery channel when they came out of the womb – all curled up.””

At this point, if you’re not seriously doubting this guy’s dating advice (I mean really, who takes advice from someone who thinks comparing someone to a newborn is suave??) he goes on to justify his use of negging. Apparently (according to this dudebro) 
”Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants approval. No one wants to be ignored. The same holds true for beautiful women – even more so. Their whole reality is based on having power and having acceptance and adoration through their good looks. Take that away and their whole reality crumbles and they’ll do anything to get it back.”

There are so many things wrong with this.
1: Just because you find her attractive doesn’t mean that she’s shallow and her entire world revolves around her looks.
2: Sometimes, yes, people do want to be ignored. If you’re walking up to strangers and insulting them, there’s a good chance that they would prefer you ignored them.
3: The fact that you think it’s acceptable to destroy someone’s self-esteem to the point that they’ll “do anything to get it back” is disgusting and terrifying.

“ Negging women is ideal for really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
RUDE. Like women are so obviously numbers on a scale. Look buddy, just because you think someone is a “6” (whatever that entails) doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t see her as a “10”. Also, you have absolutely no way of knowing her self-esteem and  ”social value” and trying to lower anyone’s is gross.

Then, he tried to justify himself to the women who were (understandably) upset.
”So please girls, if a guy told you that you had lint in your hair and that would “cut you down” or would “crush you”, and your ego is THAT fragile, then don’t go to night clubs!!  After all, the guys have to deal with MUCH WORSE from you girls!”
 Or, (and this is a little out there, stay with me) you could try NOT hitting on women who are clearly just there to have fun with their friends and don’t want to talk to you! And if you have feelings that can be hurt by random insults, don’t go to clubs! Or bars! Or anywhere fun really, because this author seems to think that going out and having fun = open invitation for harassment.

“So if you’re a normal-looking girl with a normal attitude, you probably will NEVER BE NEGGED in your life.  So for crying-out-loud, don’t worry about it.”
Oh good, now he’s implying harassment is a compliment. It just keeps getting better and better.

And then, we get to the source of all of his hatred of women:
”Negs are for those glamour girls that have been spoiled all their lives by Daddy and have little sense of reality (like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton for example).  These are the types of girls that enjoy shooting “nice guys” down.  It’s THAT kind of girl that negs are designed to attract.”
Oh. Now it makes sense. He thinks that he can clearly tell, just by glancing at someone, their entire sense of reality, their self-esteem, their childhood AND their source of income. Gee, that’s not presumptuous at all.  And he also seems to think that, when he’s been turned down by a girl, it’s not because he was being rude, or she didn’t want to be hit on, or she just wasn’t interested, or anything reasonable. No, he thinks it’s because he was just too nice. 

The TL;DR? Yet another Nice Guy™ thinks women owe him something. Hooray.

theanti90smovement:

it’s not just a hat

can you imagine running this on your computer?

You: *picks up iPhone*
Fedora: Why… why are you using that iPhone!? I can play music too! I can search the web tooooo!
You: Sorry, but I’m just looking for an iPhone right now, but you’re a great laptop.
Fedora: But I’ve always been there for you! Every email you sent, every post you reblogged! I didn’t even say anything when you ordered that iPhone, you know!
You: But, that’s just what a laptop is supposed to do. You just acted like a decent operating system.
Fedora: Fine! I’ll just hang around, I guess, occasionally notifying you, telling you how much your iPhone sucks and how unhappy I am!
You: ….
You: That’s it I’m uninstalling you.
Fedora: Why are you doing this to meeeeeee?

(via fartgallery)